I have a lot of questions about Christianity and the Bible. These questions are something I’m often told to be careful about–that is, asking too many questions could be dangerous or lead me down a dangerous road. I always wonder why it is people feel this way–why is it dangerous to ask question? If a question has a good answer, then asking the question is the best way to get to that answer, right? Maybe people are just afraid there aren’t good answers or hard questions will show the weak spots in the answers. I think perhaps people misunderstand me too; for instance, when I ask a question that sounds like I’m doubting God or the core beliefs of Christianity, then people get defensive and tell me I have no right to question God or Christianity. But I’m not so interested in questioning God himself as I am in understanding and knowing him better and these questions are part of that process for me.
I think sometimes we put too much faith in our “beliefs” and too little faith in God himself. We are so sure of our own beliefs and understanding that we refuse to let God open our eyes to anything new. How can we be so sure our church, denomination, books, pastors and teachers are right about God and what God wants? Isn’t it possible that God is bigger than even our beliefs about him and can sometimes surprise us or change our minds? I’m not out looking for new revelation or throwing everything I’ve ever been taught out the window–I’m just trying to keep my heart, mind, and eyes open to what God has to say–even if it seems to contradict something I’ve always been taught or believed.
I recently decided to start a project that I hope will help answer some of my questions–I want to read every word of the Bible with my own eyes. Obviously lots of people have done this before and many do it every single year on a Bible reading plan but it’s not something I have ever actually done myself. I don’t want to read the Bible just so I can say I did, but I want to read it with an open heart and mind–one that’s ready to either change or affirm my beliefs about God.
Now, I know some will read this and will want to answer all of my questions and I know you mean well in doing so. I’m open to everyone’s thoughts and opinions and actually really hope people will comment on this so we can have discussions and learn from each other. But at the same time, I know this a journey I have to take no matter how many answers people can give me. I need to read and understand the Bible for myself and seek out my own answers and not just accept the answers of others (even if those answers are right or the exact same conclusions I will eventually reach). I’m not looking for quick, accurate answers; I’m looking to see God with my own eyes through his word and whatever else he uses to help me know and understand him.
God said, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 29:12-14
I’m taking God at his word and looking forward to having my heart and eyes opened to his truth–whether that is just exactly what I’ve always believed or something radically different.