Eighteen months ago I quit my job and had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life. The smart one (my husband) had also left his job but had at least already lined something else up–he was taking a risk but he had a job and his brains to back him up. Not me, I was scanning the internet and newspaper in a panicked flurry trying to figure out how to get myself out of the mess of joblessness I had created. All along I was praying that God would open doors and lead me into just the right job–and I prayed, and hunted, and prayed, and hunted…on and on it went.
Then it occurred to me–maybe I was pounding on all the wrong doors and asking for all the wrong things. Maybe the reason I couldn’t find a full-time job was because I wasn’t supposed to have one. After all, the reason Darren and I decided to quit our jobs in the first place was because Darren was working 70+ hours a week and I was working an odd schedule so there were days when the only times we saw each other were when we got up in the morning and when we went to the bed at night. I would sit in the apartment all day by myself only to leave for work when Darren was getting home. It got to the point where we decided what we were doing just wasn’t working anymore and it was time for a change. The change we had in mind was both of us working normal Monday to Friday 8 to 5 jobs not me being jobless. Darren upheld his end of the deal while I grew frustrated and discouraged.
But then I had that thought–that maybe the reason I wasn’t getting anywhere was because I was going in the wrong direction and God just wasn’t going to open the wrong door for me. Maybe God had a different door for me to walk through and if I would just stop trying to break down the door I wanted He would open the right door for me without the struggle. Even with this thought percolating in my brain, I knew I couldn’t just tell Daren, “Guess what? I’m not looking for a job after all so have fun working yourself to death while I chillax.” When Darren took his new job it was with the understanding that we would both be working and that would lessen the risk of him starting over with fewer hours and a pay cut. Oh, and did I mention we had just bought a house? Oh ya, ya we did. I had no idea what to do.
Then Darren surprised me–he came home one day and told me he really loved the way life was without both of us working. He loved working normal hours and his new job was working out beautifully. He loved coming home to me and actually getting to spend time together. He loved having the weekends to go places and do things together and maybe another hectic full-time job wasn’t the best thing for me (or us) right now. His words were the answer I needed. Knowing that he was loving life as much as I was, that he wasn’t worried about money, and that he wouldn’t be disappointed in me if I decided to stop working–it was a huge relief and the push I needed to make up my mind and settle on staying home.
Once I stopped trying to break down the wrong door with a sledge-hammer the right doors opened up. I enjoyed staying home and spending time with Darren and eventually a position opened up for me at the same company where Darren works. So I found my job after all and we still get to enjoy a peaceful life together (I mean we work together and come home together!) and everything worked out when I was finally willing to let go of my plan and open my heart to God’s plan.
If you’re pounding and pounding and the door is locked tight maybe you’re pounding on the wrong door. Maybe God has closed that door tight because he has a different door open and waiting for you if you’ll just walk through it.
13 thoughts on “Knocking On The Wrong Door”
What a blessing for you!
I have this habit of finding answer if things dont go the way i want it go….
Some time i crib ,i bore people around me ,i cry, i question god and fight with him and blame him for not giving me what i want. But as you rightly said in your article
“If you’re pounding and pounding and the door is locked tight maybe you’re pounding on the wrong door. Maybe God has closed that door tieght because he has a different door open and waiting for you if you’ll just walk through it.”
Just love it….Take care
I am a firm believer things happen for a reason, a concept that is hard to swallow at times. I am a new blogger and have now just begun venturing out in making a habit to read other blogs and find it strangely appropriate yours is one of my first to stumble upon.
My husband recently lost his job. (Completely relating myself to the frantic, discouragement, & frustration you speak of). With me being unemployed, yet still a full-time student and wife, I am in search of the perfect part-time position so that I may try to succeed in balancing it all. I love love your comment about God not opening the wrong door for us. So amazingly true. When I read that sentence, I feel like I literally had to stop and tell myself to stop knocking so hard. It is a hard concept to grasp that our plan is not always the best plan.
I came across a saying online just today that reads, “Hold on. God knows what he’s doing.” I printed it out and put it on my bedroom mirror. I see no harm in reminding myself of that every morning.
I love your pictures you have to go along with your posts. Keep up the good work! ..and thanks for listening =)
love the look of your blog. your pictures, and love your honesty, and great heart that shows through your writing.
This post made my heart smile. Wise, wise words. It is so difficult to go against what we “think” we need to be doing and just give in to God’s plan for us! Still working on this! Thanks so much for your inspiring post!
I totally agree! Great post!
It has been said many times before “God does not give us more than we can handle”. Great post!
I so needed to read this right now. You have put it brilliantly, it gives me hope.
My husband and I are struggling with serious financial issues and no matter what we do things don’t pan out the way we need them to. We seem to be running hard on the same spot.
After reading your post, I told myself ‘Why not try Surrender?’
So from now on I hand over my huge burden to God….feel lighter already 🙂
Let’s see what happens next….
I love the photo of the doors….
I believe one of the things that the Lord wants you to do is write these excellent posts for your blog. These posts are very encouraging and inspiring. You are doing what you are supposed to be doing.
I also like the photo of the doors at the top of this post.
Hi Kari, I’m originally from rural Missouri, too, but what resonates with at this moment is your eighteen month, prayerful job search. That’s me, I’m there. Often frustrated and confused as to why doors in the “world out there” are not opening, yet when I set that aside, I see how the entire process has distilled my life and elevated my creative gifts.
There seems to be no way for me to avoid that perhaps the door I am to push against – hard enough to open – is the one where I finally accept responsibility for using my gifts fully. Oh, yeah, and trust that courage will come with the doing.
Your writing and sharing is inspirational and beautiful. Thank you!
I admire your courage. Bravo!
Good, good for you both.
Peace, UT 🙂
i hope this is me someday 🙂 right now, we’re in the stage where both of us are working like crazy. We have opposite schedules, and so I take a nap when I get home, so I can stay up when Tom gets home, and then I wake up early and go to work. It’s basically nuts. I know that sometimes you have to do hard things to start with so that you can get to easier things later, but I sure wish that “later” would come sooner :P.
The first two years of marriage were like that for us too. It’s not fun. My schedule varies and I still work full-time some weeks and it’s amazing to me how exhausting it is to work all day and then come home to dinner needing to be made and a house needing to be cleaned. I’m so thankful for the times when I only work part-time! I hope things get easier for you guys to !<3