Don’t Waste Your Pain


If you go through something terrible and don’t learn anything from it, you are wasting your own heartache. I believe everything that happens in my life, good or bad, is meant to change and instruct me.

The way I grew up was not easy, not terrible, but certainly not easy. Sometimes I look back and think life was unfair; I think I would have been better off if everything had gone differently.

On better days I look back and realize that all those hard times helped me become who I am. Not only am I stronger but I know now just how strong I can be. I know what I can do without. I know what life looks like from the other side and can better empathize with people. Yes, life could have been easier, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it would have been better. I would not be who I am today had I traveled any other road.

Sometimes pain is the only teacher able to speak loudly enough to get my attention. C.S. Lewis said,

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

He’s right. The good things in my life keep me going but the bad things bring me to my knees and force me to grow and change in ways beyond my comfort.

I have a very good life but sometimes I get caught up in the things that are difficult, the things I would like to be different. Today I am reminded that every season of life is filled with purpose. There is something in today’s troubles that will instruct me in tomorrow’s troubles if I’m willing to learn and be made better by whatever I’m going through.

One thing I know for sure, I don’t want to go through a hard time for nothing. If I’m going to struggle then I at least want to come out on the other side having learned and changed into a stronger, more mature person.

Don’t waste your pain; use it, grow from it, be made better by it…just don’t ever waste it.

“I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.”

Donald Miller

26 thoughts on “Don’t Waste Your Pain

  1. Pingback: Weekly Round-Up « Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer

  2. We experience hardship to be comforted by God so that we can comfort those in need. 2 Cor 1:3-7

    “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”


  3. First of all, I love your new blog page, the words in the background, it’s great!
    Secondly, WOW!! Love this post. I NEEDED to read this today. Your words are like a balm to my spirit. You encourage and inspire me and I feel like I have just sat down with a dear friend and been ministered to. Thank you. I pray that whatever may be difficult for you today will ease and that in the meantime you will have a gentle arms to hold and comfort you. Thanks for sharing this, it is beautiful. DAF


    • Thanks, I’m still deciding if I like the new look or not :] Believe it or not, I thought of you specifically when I wrote this post. I know from reading your blog that you are going through a lot with your husband’s health and going back to work and hope you will have all the grace and courage you need for the road ahead. God bless.


  4. I like what your doing around the blog!
    I have often heard it said that our ministry opportunities are born out of our past wounds. The road out of the circumstance often seems long and hard but once it is behind us God uses our pain to bring others to wholeness–I like that! And I like the CS Lewis quote.



    • Thank you :] I think you’re right. It’s much easier to relate to and learn from someone who’s been through a hard time when you’re going through one yourself. So the troubles we face can be used for good both in our lives and in the lives of others.


    • Thanks. I’ve been playing around with the look of the blog…still figuring out if I like it ;] Change is hard but I’m learning to let go of some of the control and embrace whatever road I’m on.


  5. Pingback: Don’t Waste Your Pain « Outside Air | Bon Vivant

  6. Pingback: Don’t Waste Your Pain « Outside Air | Yelena's Blog

  7. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
    “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

    As we allow God’s Spirit to dwell in us and teach us in and through what is happening, we are restored, renewed, perfected and transformed! As we cry out to our loving Father in our need, He comes. I pray we will allow all things to work for His good and for His good work to be done and brought to completion.

    Thank you for this!


  8. Excellent point Kari, grams and I were just talking about this, reading your blog just now was almost like having you here joining the conversation.


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