Inspiration vs. Jealousy

If all goes as planned {and it never does}, we’re supposed to be moving into our house this summer. After years of looking for the right place, saving money, and now two years of rebuilding and remodeling–we’re finally almost there.

IMG_20150310_195322{“Um guys, this house doesn’t look super done.”}

But as I think about moving, I’ve been thinking too about how much I should share here and elsewhere on social media when it comes to the details of our new home. There’s a big part of me that wants to take lots of pictures and include people in this journey {especially those of you who’ve already been following the bits and pieces I’ve shared along the way}. But there’s an equal part of me that’s unsure if sharing is really the right thing to do.

Here’s why:

We’ve all heard about and dealt with the jealousy that comes with watching someone else’s life via social media. We talk about it, read articles about it, complain about it, and deal with it in our own lives–jealousy. People’s lives can look so perfect and put together on Facebook when the mess has been cropped out of the background and the right filter makes everyone look tan. You’ve done, I’ve done it, and we all kind of know everyone else is doing it too–but still, we see those pictures sometimes and think, “They get everything. My life sucks.”

I remember feeling this way on Valentine’s Day when Darren was helping our new renters move into the apartment we had just remodeled {unexpectedly, right in the middle of our house remodel} and so I didn’t get any roses or get to go out to dinner and spent that whole day feeling very, very, VERY sorry for myself. And rather than be a grownup and stay away from social media for the day, I instead scrolled through Facebook and Instagram and envied all the pictures of flowers, and date night, and all those freaking people who were so stupidly in love… ;]

So I worry that by sharing pictures of our home, people are only going to see the end product of years of work and envy us or think we get everything handed to us while they struggle along. People don’t see the work and stress and everything that’s gone into making this dream of ours come true–I know that because I know I look at other people’s lives and pictures the same way–I see one picture and one moment and don’t know or consider the rest of the story leading up to that one happy, enviable moment.

So, is it right to share only the pretty bits and pieces of a much bigger story and perhaps by doing so create feelings of envy along the way? I realize I can’t control how other people react–someone else’s jealousy is ultimately, their problem. But still, I don’t want to be one of those people on social media who overshares.

And then there’s privacy. My home is where I live, where my baby lives, it’s the most intimate space I inhabit. So should it then be shared publicly? Though I’ve blogged for years, I’ve felt much more private and unsure of sharing ever since Roman was born. There is something about knowing you are totally responsible for another person’s life that makes you stop and think a little bit harder about everything you do–including how much you share about them on social media. So I wonder now if it’s safe or smart to share our home in a space like this or if it’s better left off the internet and kept private just for us.

Those are the cons, but I see some pros too…

I get so much inspiration and enjoyment from seeing how and where other people live. My favorite blogs are by people who share their homes and lives and invite you in. Yes, sometimes on a bad day, I’ll see someone else’s home or life on a blog and envy them. But for the most part, I just enjoy reading stories and seeing pictures of how other people live. I’ve gotten so much inspiration for our own home by seeing the ideas of others and I would be really disappointed if these people decided to stop sharing. This makes me want to share pictures of my own home and life {even if it’s just a fragment of the whole story} and invite people in {even if it’s just through a word or picture}.

So I’m asking you sincerely, what do you think? Do you think it’s right to share put together pictures of our not-so-put together lives? Is it safe or smart to share a place as intimate and private as my home on the internet when I can’t control who will then know where I live? Do you like seeing other people’s homes and lives or does it just lead to envy and frustration?

7 thoughts on “Inspiration vs. Jealousy

  1. You may be overthinking this, Kari. This is your blog, not facebook. It is peopled with those who love you and your family, and want the best for you. You have always shared your most intimate thoughts and fears. Continue to share your life with D & R and yes, let’s see that house. I thought you were already living in it.
    One other thing, the best Valentine’s Gift ever, for you two, you carry around everyday… and sometimes have to hand it to Darren and say “Here, you take him for awhile”.

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  2. I kept forgetting to leave a comment! I think you should share if that is what you want. But like the person above said, don’t be “overly showy.” Share just enough. But if sharing is something you love to do, do it without having to feel bad for people who envy. People will always envy no matter what.

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  3. I think the way you’ve been sharing here is fine. I know a general area of the country you live in, but probably couldn’t find your doorstep. With the blog, you probably stop and think a little more as you’re writing and sharing. I think, for the most part, your friends on social media will be happy for you.

    Sometimes, I’ll compose a post on social media and let it sit for a few minutes before posting it. That gives me time to re-think whether or not I really want something out there.

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  4. Having followed you this far on the journey, it would be disappointing not to see the end result, but you need to do what feels right to you. As others have already mentioned, if you do decide to share, you can do it without giving away your location.

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  5. There are many people who have prayed for you and this adventure you have been on. Share a bit, not much. Make certain there are no ‘give away’ signs as to the location and the address. You are right, in this day and age to be cautious. Part of the reason I don’t mind being that anonymous one. I would love to see some of the photos of your finally, happily ever after place. You have worked hard, saved hard and I am thrilled that you are looking forward to moving in. Well done. Roman is adorable, by the way… he will only remember it being home to him.

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