“And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter.
It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.”
{Rumi}
Author Archives: Kari
Something Out Of Nothing
Sometimes I think I’m wasting time blogging and taking pictures. Sometimes I wonder if I’m wasting other people’s time expecting them to read what I write and share in the stories I tell. Sometimes I think about walking away from it all and doing something “useful” with myself. And then I think about God. I think about how he likes to write and paint and doing so is never a waste of his time.
Something out of nothing—that is what God does.
He creates and delights in creation. And he has filled our hearts with the desire to create too.
Something out of nothing—that is what art is.
Words and colors shaped into stories and meaning.
Nothing God does is a waste and God likes to create.
So I create too.
And it is not a waste.
Life Lately.
Two of my dearest friends came to visit for the week.
We talked and laughed and explored the streets together and were reminded why we have loved each other so much from the start
Who couldn’t love a friend with penguin socks?
We ransacked the dessert section in my favorite Italian coffee shop
And explored all the beautiful streets and corners of some of my favorite towns. I could take a picture of every perfect little piece of New England architecture
And perfect little bird houses too
The other day after exploring my favorite bookstore I came home with lots of old maps, a book printed on a letterpress with raised words you can feel when you run your fingers over the page, a stunning book of American poetry with a bunch of my favorite authors all wrapped up between the same two covers, and a little bitty book of Shakespeare too :]
The trees are blushing crimson in the warm light of spring
And the sunshine is warming everything up
And these two are warming my heart up :]
Understanding and Respecting Our Differences
I was talking with one of my unmarried friends the other day and she mentioned something interesting to me. She was a little frustrated because she finds people assume she has lots and lots of free time just because she’s single. People at work say things like, “Oh, you can take care of this office party because you don’t have anything going on. I would help, but I’m so busy with the wife and kids!” People at church do the same thing—ask her to take on lots of extra activities and responsibilities because they assume as a single girl, she has lots of free time that married people don’t have. But the funny thing is, as a single girl working and providing for herself leaves very little free time at all.
Even though Darren and I both work full-time, being married give us the advantage of being able to split responsibilities. Every morning Darren makes breakfast and packs lunch; I always make dinner. Darren takes care of the bills while I do the laundry and we both go grocery shopping together. Neither one of us has to do everything around the house because we are able to split and share our household responsibilities; my single friend doesn’t have that luxury. She works full-time plus manages all her other responsibilities without help.
Her words resonated with me because I get frustrated by a similar problem when I talk to parents. I’ve had several moms say things to me about how nice it must be having so much free time and not having anything to do. Once when I was talking to a mom friend about how busy and tiring life is, she got irritated and asked me what I even had to do without kids. Um, other than work all day every day and cook and clean and everything else? Nothing, I have nothing to do at all ;] Now I do understand that my busyness is very different from a mom’s busyness. I may work all day and have plenty to take care of when I get home, but I don’t have kids pulling on me or needing all my time and attention.
The thing that bothers me though is that people assume your life is easy just because it’s different from theirs. I wish we would stop judging and comparing our different lives and respect the various roads we are each on. Assuming we are busier or have it harder than someone else isn’t helpful; it’s judgmental and belittling. How would a stay-at-home mom feel if I told her I thought her life was so easy because she gets to stay home and do whatever she wants all day? That isn’t fair. I don’t know what life demands from her and it isn’t fair to assume she is lazing around just because her job is different from my job. Neither is it fair to assume that someone without children is lazy and selfish just because they don’t have kids to care for.
Talking to my friend reminded me to be sensitive to the different roads we are each on. It reminded me to be thankful for the help I have in my marriage and to be considerate of the time and needs of people who don’t share life with a partner. It reminded me too that even though people say stupid stuff to me sometimes, I’m sure I’ve said stupid stuff to other people too—stuff I didn’t even think about because my life is so different from theirs and I didn’t realize what responsibilities were weighing on them. It reminded me to be less sensitive and more gracious when careless words are said but also to be even more careful about my own words and the things I assume.
I hope we can all learn to be more considerate and respectful of each other and stop trying to prove that we are better or doing more just because we are doing something differently.
The World is Waking Up
“i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)”
The poem i thank you God for most this amazing by e. e. cummings
Find Yourself
The best of me comes from within not from without. My most inspired, creative work happens when I work from within myself rather than looking for inspiration from others. Other people do inspire me, but when I try to follow after them and do what they do, I always lose myself along the way and lose any authentic inspiration too. I admire people but that does not mean I need follow them. We are each our own and when we are not, we lose ourselves in each other.
I struggle with this in the realm of social media. There are so many beautiful blogs and pictures and ideas. There are so many ways to share ourselves with each other using Pinterest, Etsy, blogs, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., etc.
Social media isn’t necessarily a bad thing—I’m sharing these very thoughts with you right now using social media—but sometimes I find it eats me alive. Sometimes I lose my own inspiration in the inspiration of others and nothing I do rings true for a time.
My best work happens when I am quiet and alone, when I look within instead of without, when I walk away from the internet and into the woods, when I feel the world pulsing around me in all my senses—tasting, smelling, touching, hearing, feeling the world for myself in my own living senses.
I am never more inspired to garden and nurture life than when I go outside and feel the cool spring air on my skin, smell the dirt as it’s dug up and prepared for planting—nobody, however inspiring, can replace the inspiration that comes from living your own life in awareness of yourself and your own surroundings.
Sometimes I forget to be inspired in myself, outside of others. But I am finding the best way to live happily, peacefully, fully, is to live truly to myself and outside of others. To live within my senses and live out my own inspiration. Nothing is more inspiring than a person who has found themselves and is living authentically from within, not from without.
I don’t think being creative is so much about being original as it is about being authentic—being true to your own inspiration and living out of your own senses and awareness. Sometimes I have to step away from the people who inspire me to actually find any inspiration of my own.
“Maybe you are searching among the branches for what only appears in the roots.” -Rumi
To Fresh Woods and Pastures New
Yesterday, Darren and I closed on our new home. And by new I mean new as soon as we rebuild it kind of new ;]
We bought a little Colonial built back in 1860—you know, the year Abraham Lincoln was elected President and the Pony Express was still delivering the mail. So yes, she is old and she is a fixer-upper. But we love all the old New England charm about her and even though I’m certain we don’t yet fully know what we’ve gotten ourselves into, we are excited and thankful for this new road we’re on.
I was starting to feel like we had looked at every piece of real estate in the whole entire Commonwealth of Massachusetts and there was nothing for us. But here we are. Now we own an old Colonial in a quaint little New England town. We have a big yard and woods behind and before us—I can’t explain how much the yard and woods mean to me. I have a nice sunny spot picked out to plant my first garden and we are within walking distance to the lake where we can swim and canoe. There’s a nice flat road for riding bikes and my very favorite book store is just a few miles away. I’m really, really thankful.
Please remind me of these pretty words come the middle of this project because I will probably be threatening to burn the whole place down once I’m covered in paint and sheetrock dust. I’m moody like that. Oh, and I give up easily so this should go really well ;]
Seriously though, I’m excited about preserving this old house that has seen so much and adding our own lives and memories to her walls. I’m excited about walking out into the yard and working in the garden, excited about jumping in the lake, excited about watching the trees blossom and the leaves fall as we work away on making this very old house our home.
I’m thankful that old things can be made new and that so much of what’s broken can be fixed…not only in old houses, but in our lives too.
Here she is. I call her Abigail. Don’t judge her–she needs a touch of lipstick and rouge–most ladies do, you know.
And the view…
“And so you sign a mortgage but also body and soul, spouse and children over to an idea that will soon become a joy and a burden, a black hole that devours every molecule of your time, money, and spirit. Yet even when you discover that the only thing keeping the place from blowing away is the weight of the mouse droppings in the attic, you wouldn’t have it any other way. If this is the case, you might be one of those old-house people, a peculiar kind of maniac who is one part ability, one part inventiveness, two parts determination, three parts romanticism, and six parts damn foolishness.” {George Nash from Renovating Old Houses}
I think maybe we fit the part? ;]
“Tomorrow to fresh woods and pastures new.” {John Milton}
To Boston
Boston, city I have loved since I first set foot on the cobblestone streets. The place where Darren asked me to marry him standing by the water on the Back Bay. The place where we spent some of the first days of our marriage. The first place people want to see when they come to visit me and the place I love exploring still.
I can’t understand why people hurt each other. There is so much violence in the world but it’s easy to forget about it until it happens in a place you love.
I don’t know what to say. I don’t understand it. All I really wanted to say is that today my heart is with Boston and the people there.
Weekend.
I love lazy weekends. The cat curled up in my lap and took a nice, long Sunday afternoon nap.
I drank a big mug of hot tea with lots of honey and cream and played with my new camera, trying to figure it out.
I may or may not have looked into the sun for 30 minutes trying to see what color my eyes are in the light. I may or may not be blind now.
Oh the light though, it is great fun to chase with the camera. Katniss and I played games with the shadows.
And then I chased the sun flair, trying to capture it and make it immortal.
The sun got caught in the bottles.
And then it slipped away behind the trees.
Out of the Mud
I have long loved the Scripture that reads,
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure” {Psalm 40:1-2}.
I have seen God in my life bring me up out of the pit, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock. Often when I pray, I pray that verse back to God—thanking him for bringing me up out of a pit and building my life today on a rock. What I never exactly thought about though was the remainder of the passage which reads:
“He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see it and fear, and put their trust in the LORD” {Psalm 40:3, ESV}.
God has been good to me. He has brought me out of dark places into the light. He has brought me out of a pit and built my life on a rock. This is beautiful and humbling but it’s not all for my benefit. It is so people may “see it and fear [stand in awe], and put their trust in the Lord.”
God’s goodness to me is meant to reflect back on him. He has given me good things and brought me to a good place because he loves me and because such love and goodness are meant to reflect back on him, meant to draw people back to his love and the goodness he offers us all.
I often think of the verse,
“To whom much has been given, much more shall be required” {Luke 12:48}.
I have been given much in my life and much is now required of me in how I use what’s given. Does my life reflect back to the giver of all life?
Outside Air 