And Now I Can Fulfill My Destiny

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I love being outside. I think perhaps I should have been a vagabond instead of a normal person. Oh well. I decided to make up an excuse for going outside and bought the cutest vintage bike you’ve ever seen. No really, EVER. Here she is:

She came in the mail this morning and I haven’t regained my senses yet. Here’s the husband putting her together in the kitchen. Nothing like having an aerospace Quality Manager put things together for you–if the helicopters fly then the bike should ride (we hope).

I decided to take her out for her maiden voyage, all along telling Husband what an avid bike rider I was all through my youth and pretty much laid it out that I was pro. Probably shouldn’t have done that. I almost died. I went like a 1/4 of a mile and my knee was aching and I was panting for air. Sooo, I guess I’m a little out of shape–fail.

Here she is in her new home–our living room. She can’t live outside because I’m fairly certain one of my various pot-infused neighbors will take her for a spin and then I would have to chase them down and we would fight to the death–not ideal if you ask me. So, I vote she lives in the living room. Husband says she has to live in the basement. Silly Husband. Does he really think I’m going to let him put my sweet little bike in that dark abyss? No, I win; she lives in the living room.

I have lots of plans for my little bike–camping trips, racing the nephews, national parks, days at the beach…just as soon as I get my 26 year old knee and lungs whipped back into shape–who knew I would get so old so young? That’s what living in the city does to you, I say. Get me outside!

I bought the basket separately from Peterboro Basket Company located in Peterborough, New Hampshire. They hand-make their baskets right here in the USA using all American products…love that, love supporting local business when I can.

So, what are your plans for the warm weather days?

Are You a Downer?

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There are going to be people in life who critique and discourage whatever it is you happen to be doing. There are many others of course who, even with a little constructive criticism here and there, will encourage and help you move forward.

My first reaction to those who immediately find fault in every idea and situation is to distance myself–not because I expect everyone to like and agree with everything I do and think, but because I’ve learned these people aren’t going to like or agree with anything I do or think; they’re going to drag me down and prevent me from moving forward with joy and confidence.

I call these people downers. Downers miss out on so much: They miss out on being close to people because people don’t trust them and don’t want to be close. They miss out on all the parts of the life and self people keep tucked away from their critical words.

I’ve been asking myself today:

  • Am I a downer?
  • Am I the person who finds fault with others and constantly discourages when I should be lifting up?
  • Are my words, thoughtless or otherwise, hurtful to those around me?
  • Am I being sarcastic when I should be honest and compassionate?
  • Am I a person others can turn to with vulnerable ideas and feelings or am I someone people hide thoughts and feelings from to protect themselves?

Not every idea is a good idea. Not every action deserves a pat on the back. But if it is in my power to encourage and build up those around me in an honest, constructive way, that is exactly what I should be doing.

Words are Knowledge

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I am just old enough to remember life before the internet and cell phones. I grew up playing outside, not on the computer. I wasn’t on Facebook or the owner of a cell phone until I was in college. I rarely text and am probably slower than my grandma (who is super tech savvy, by the way) when I do.

Still, technology and the hyper-connectivity of the world around me have changed the way I interact and relate to people. Like so many my age, I am more comfortable communicating by means of blogging and Facebooking than I am in face-to-face interactions. Not that I can’t have an intelligent face-to-face conversation, but I am better able to open up and speak my heart through writing than I am in talking.

Words are my world, they are my voice and the best way I know how to share my heart and person with others.

Because I am sharing my heart and who I am when I write, it means a lot to me when people read my writing; their reading communicates interest in who I am and what I have to say. On the flip side, when people show no interest in my writing, to some extent that makes me feel they aren’t interested in knowing me. Not that I expect everyone to read my blog–not everyone has the time or interest and blogging isn’t the best way to build relationships with each and every person in my life. But when someone says they want to know me better and expresses no interest in what I have to say, I think, “you say you want to know me, I have put myself out there in my writing to be known, and yet you act like what I’ve written means nothing to you–do you really want to know me better or are you just saying that?”

In the same way, I say I want to know God better; I say I want to have a better relationship with him and better know his heart–and then fail to read his words to me. This struck me quite hard the other day: I want people to know me better through my writing and feel they aren’t interested in me when they don’t read what I’ve written. God wants me to know him better and has spoken his heart to me through the written word–the Bible–and yet I fail to read his words (therefore communicating a total lack of interest in knowing him better).

I love the written word, I love the way words can be combined and moved around to say what you want just the way you want. Why, if I love words so much and put so much value into my own words being read, do I not value the words of God? I say I want to know him but my actions say otherwise. God has chosen to share himself with me in the way I love most–through words. The words of God are beautiful and powerful and have changed who I am completely. You may not believe in the Bible–in the words of God. I do. I believe in God’s words with all my heart and live my life based on this belief. I am moved to value God’s words more and make reading his words a priority in my life. If I really want to know God, then I must read what he has shared with me about himself through the written word.

How about you–how do you feel when people do or don’t read your words or listen to what you say?

The Discipline of a Happy Life

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Having the life you want is a lot of hard work. If I want a clean house, well dang it, I have to clean it. If I want money then I have to get out of bed and work for it–and in working for it, I have to set aside a lot of other things that I might rather be doing. I would rather stay home and blog or go spend that hard-earned money on something I want–but off to work I must go instead. If I want to make something beautiful, I might spend the entire day on Pinterest looking at lovely things to make (and never actually making anything at all). Or I might think up one thing to make and get my rear in gear doing it. When it comes down to it, a happy life is a lot of doing and an unhappy life is a lot of “I want to’s” without the doing–without ever gaining a sense of satisfaction and achievement.

I want to be a good writer; I don’t always want to do the hard work of writing, and re-writing, and staring at a screen. But if I don’t sit down and start typing–something, anything–I’ll never be the writer I want to be. Instead I’ll live with big dreams and plans and never have anything to show for it.

I don’t want to do the laundry and wash the dishes, but I would rather do the work and have the satisfaction of living in a nice organized, clean house–not just dreaming of one while I surf the web. I don’t want to plan meals, go grocery shopping, and make dinner–but I would rather do all these things and have the satisfaction of knowing I’ve worked hard and provided a healthy, satisfying meal for my husband and I rather than tossing another lazy day frozen pizza in the oven.

I want a good marriage but I don’t always feel like being kind and patient with my husband. I don’t always feel like making sacrifices or doing the every day work that goes into building a relationship. But I would rather work at building this relationship and enjoy the peace and joy that comes from that work rather than being selfish and lazy and losing potential happiness simply because I don’t value marriage enough to fight for it and work hard at it.

On a deeper level, I want to know God and his word better. I want to be a mature, faithful Christian. But I don’t always want to do the work that allows me to know God better or to mature in my faith. I don’t want to take the time to read my Bible, I don’t want to step back from my busy life and take the time to pray–I want what I want but I don’t want to do the work.

Life is a series of choices and each choice you make today impacts the life you build for tomorrow. Even though doing one thing may sound better and easier right now, will doing it allow you to achieve your goals and build the life you want long-term or will it hinder you and waste one more day?

What do you want to do? What is keeping you from doing it? If what you want is within your power and hard work is the only thing keeping you from achieving your goals, do the work–you won’t regret it.

Statute of Limitations

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Okay, so this post doesn’t actually have anything to do with the statute of limitations in the legal sense–I just thought it was a clever title. You’ve been punked. I apologize :] Seriously though, I’ve been thinking about something I learned when I was in college–that being that I can do anything I have to. There are certain things, like public speaking, that I would consider nearly impossible for me to do. I’ll cry or pass out or die on stage I tell myself, but then I’m faced with a situation where I absolutely have to do what I think will make cry or die and it turns out, I live.

I had to take two public speaking classes in college, one my freshmen year and the other my senior year. I had two choices: Take and pass both classes or don’t graduate from college. So, I took both classes (and somehow got a good grade in both) and graduated. Before I went to college, I would have told myself  public speaking was something I would never and could never do–but I did it, because I had to.

Take it up a notch–public speaking in a foreign language, eek. I was also required to take four semesters of a foreign language in college, and to make sure we all wanted to kill ourselves by the end, we were required to give presentations and speeches in that language in front of class. I’m not going to say I earned a good grade on this one–I just passed somehow, but I did what I otherwise  would have sworn impossible, what I would have run from had I not been forced to do it.

Even though overcoming fear and facing difficulties didn’t earn me any college credit per se, it was still one of the most important lessons I learned in school; it’s a lesson I have fallen back on many times since then. Learning to do what I normally wouldn’t have has shown me how brave and determined I can be and it’s shown me an inner strength I never would have recognized had I run from intimidating situations instead of standing my ground and accomplishing my goals.

In life, there are sure to be situations where you have to cross a bridge to reach a goal. You will have two choices: Face your fear and achieve or give into fear and lose your dream–there will be no shortcuts, tricks, or any way around it. When you face these situations, I hope you stand your ground. You will be amazed by how much courage you will have for the next task when you can look back at a previous obstacle you’ve overcome and can remind yourself, “If I got through that, then I can get through this too.”

I believe that each situation I face in life is used by God to change me and prepare me for future tasks and situations. If I refuse to do something I know I should, I will not learn the lessons and gain the courage I need for the next task. In backing down to fear, I start limiting myself and my ability to face greater and greater fears and responsibilities. I don’t know what waits for me down the road–will I lose someone I love, will I be injured, will I face financial difficulty? I don’t know. All I know today is I must face my fear and grow to prepare myself for tomorrow’s challenges–whatever they are.

It’s Now or Never—Building Relationships

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the small windows of opportunity we have in life–especially concerning relationships. People universally want to be loved and accepted; we want to know that the people we care about care about us too. If I care about someone who doesn’t seem to care about me, the window of opportunity for that person to build a relationship with me closes quickly because I’m inclined to pull away and close up in order to avoid getting hurt. I’m not even talking about romantic relationships but friendship and family relationships too.

I see this in a lot of parent/child relationships. When kids are little and always at their parents’ heels, the parents take for granted that their children will always want their time and attention. Parents are busy people–they are often tired and running in five directions at once trying to keep up with all their responsibilities. In the hustle, kids sometimes (for long times) fall to the side. And then the kids grow up–fast–and they are gone. They grow busy with their own lives and concerns and pretty soon the tables are turned. The parents’ lives are perhaps now slowing down and they finally have the time they’ve always wanted to spend with their kids–but the kids are gone. They’re in college, or married with children of their own, or living far away and that small window of opportunity to build a lasting parent/child relationship is closed to some extent. Not that you can’t rebuild relationships, of course you can, but it will take far more time and work when you’ve pushed people away and have to re-earn their trust.

So often it’s now or never and never comes so soon.

I’m learning that if I want to have deep meaningful relationships with people, then I have to make those people a big priority in my life. I have to let people know they matter to me and they’re worth my time even if my time is limited.

I have five brothers and none of us have been very close since we all left home. The six of us are spread out from Missouri to Louisiana to Massachusetts so get-togethers are few and far apart. We go months upon months without speaking at all–no phone calls, text messages, e-mails, nothing. This is hard for me because I want to be closer to my family. I always tell myself that the lack of communication is just because they’re men and men don’t always want or need the same level of communication that women do. But the truth is, they can’t communicate with me regardless of whether they’re good communicators or not if I don’t make time for them and let them know they matter to me. They never call I say, but I never call either. Maybe I’ll call and the phone will just ring and go to voicemail and maybe they’ll never call me back–but I won’t know if I don’t try and if I don’t try my window of opportunity to stay close and build a relationship may shut sooner and longer than I think.

If I shut people out of my life when I feel like I’m not important to them, who am I to think they won’t do the same to me?

Harry Chapin’s song Cats in the Cradle reminds me of all this. I didn’t understand the meaning of the song when I was younger but I’ve always liked the way it sounds. Now I see just how true his words are and how important it is that I make people a priority in my life–before it’s too late.

Cats in the Cradle

“My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad You know I’m gonna be like you”
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin’ home dad? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son You know we’ll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok” And he walked away but his smile never dimmed And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah You know I’m gonna be like him”
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin’ home son? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son You know we’ll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say “Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?” He shook his head and said with a smile “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please?”
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin’ home son? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son You know we’ll have a good time then
I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away I called him up just the other day I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind” He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad It’s been sure nice talking to you”
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He’d grown up just like me My boy was just like me
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin’ home son? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son You know we’ll have a good time then”

How I Came to Rule the Known World

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Okay, so maybe I don’t exactly rule the known world but that is exactly how I felt when I was Pressed. I am honestly so humbled and overwhelmed by all the encouragement and support I received from so many of you. Thank you, each of you, for taking the time to stop by, read, and leave feedback. Every “like” felt like a fist bump. Every comment felt like a hug. And now I feel like a million bucks! Your words gave me the push I needed to keep writing and to move forward with my blog so thank you again! I look forward to stopping by your blogs and getting to know you better as we move forward together in our little blogging community. I dare say I am falling in love with each and every one of you. I love you I say! You see what kind of rubbish you will have to put up with if you keep reading my blog? You’ve been warned 8]

Love, Kari

Raise your Glass to Dunkin Donuts!

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Be still my soul

I grew up in Missouri. Missouri has very few Dunkin Donuts; this is tragic and out of my control. I moved to New England. New England has a Dunkin Donuts (or two or three) on every corner in every town and no, I. am. not. exaggerating. Every corner people. Dunkin Donuts is the best thing that has ever happened to me. They say “America runs on Dunkin”—one thing is sure, New England runs on Dunkin like cars run on gas. We complain about the rising cost of fuel; no one complains about the cost of Dunkin fuel. You know why?

a) It is not expensive. It is the people’s coffee unlike other snooty brands that start with star and end with spending big bucks.

b) It does not matter if it is ever expensive because the people will pay for it and the people will drink it because the people of New England must needs have their Dunkin. Hail Dunkin Donuts!

Yes, I hug giant mugs of coffee in the middle of airports

There have been several major natural disasters in the last year around here. To start, there was a tornado. Said tornado came offensively close to hitting our house. It did hit our car and our trees but you know what? After my husband and I confirmed that our house was still standing, we next wanted to know, “Is our local Dunkin okay?” It was, by the way and it’s a good thing because I dare say we would have moved to a different town altogether if there were no Dunkin left standing in ours.

Dunkin zipping around town with us

Then there was a snowapocalypse  in October. Everyone and their uncle in New England lost power for days and days. Let me tell you, we had no power for almost a week. It was freezing out and we had no heat, no water, we couldn’t even flush the toilette. Oh, and my parents were in town visiting (of course they were). And the car was well nigh out of gas and there were no gas stations open and we were almost out of food and no grocery stores were open. And you want to know what the worst thing of all was? Of course you do. THERE WERE NO DUNKIN DONUTS OPEN FOR LIKE THREE DAYS. I almost killed myself. That’s what happens when you become dependent on a substance and bam, you can’t have it for three days. Let me tell you folks, them were the worst three days New England’s ever seen because you have all these coffee deprived zombies wandering the streets looking for a cup of Dunkin. It was very nearly the end of the world.

Shockingly excited over a tiny cup filled with Dunkin munchkins brought home by the husband

Dunkin Donuts makes me happy.

I would like to be a world traveler you know, but I’ve come to reconcile myself to the fact that I cannot leave New England and stray too far from Dunkin. I will never live in another part of the country because it’s too big a risk that I’ll have to drive more than a mile to get a coffee.

This is my dream car. This bad boy was in our town parade

Iced mocha latte with whole milk and sugar! Be still my soul.

Mint hot chocolate with a Turbo shot of espresso and extra whipped cream! Welcome to glory.

Hot pumpkin latte with whole milk and sugar! Have mercy.

Dunkin goes to the beach with us

Oh, and did I mention the amazingly friendly staff at Dunkin that always have my husband’s coffee on the counter for him made to his exact specifications before he even gets up to order? THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE RUNNING THE COUNTRY! Move aside Obama, it’s time for change. Talk about uniting parties, yes, I dare say Dunkin can do that. I vote we truck Dunkin into the Senate and see how quick they start loving and hugging.

DUNKIN TO THE PEOPLE!

Logo for world peace

What Blogging Has Taught Me

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I was kind of cynical about starting a blog back in the day but I’m glad I did—here’s why:

  • Blogging makes me see my life differently: Ever since I started blogging, I’ve seen my life as a story I’m telling other people. Because I want to tell a good story I’m always on the lookout for the funny, the silly, the beautiful, the meaningful—the moments that help me connect with others and share my story in a way that interest them. Before I started blogging, taking a bike ride or spending the day at the ocean would have been simple, quickly forgotten events. Now a day at the ocean is the opportunity to share a story, to take pictures, and to come back with something to share that connects me with the people I love and people I’ve never met. Blogging helps me see the simple beauty in my life—the beauty and excitement in my own quiet story.
  • Blogging helps me work through and hash out my thoughts and feelings: Blogging has forced me to think longer and harder about all the thoughts that race through my brain. If I want to clearly communicate something to other people then I have to clarify it for myself first.
  • Blogging gives me a sense of accomplishment and perseverance: Every time something I’ve written is “liked” or commented on or even just clicked on and the little stats bar goes up and up, I get a sense of having achieved something, however small. I also get a sense of perseverance because there are days (like today) where I stare at the screen and don’t know what to write and just have to start typing anyway. Or there are days when I think I’ve written something earth shattering that will be Freshly Pressed the second I grace the world by pressing “Publish” and instead it sits there stagnate getting almost no hits and no feedback. So much for being the next great American writer and it’s back to another blank screen for another try at a better post.
  • Blogging brings me closer to people: I live across the country from my most of my family and friends and blogging helps me share my life with them from a distance. Blogging also helps me connect with new people and connect on a deeper level with people I have known for years. Blogging has even allowed me to mend and restore broken friendships.
  • Blogging helps me better communicate: I’m kind of quiet and insecure when I’m talking to people in person so writing really helps me communicate the thoughts and feelings I have a hard time getting across otherwise.
  • Blogging makes me a better writer: Blogging helps me understand who my audience is and what they are interested in. The stats provided by WordPress are an extraordinary help in knowing what topics are reaching people and what is falling flat.
  • Blogging connects me with people and stories that I never would have encountered otherwise: I read so much interesting stuff and meet so many interesting people on WordPress! There are so many great blogs to follow—I could sit in front of the computer reading all day. Sometimes I just have to shut the computer and make myself go do something else or I’ll peruse blogs all day :]

That is a list of 7 things not 10. I never promised 10 you know and I don’t know why 10 is supposed to be the perfect number anyway; I’ve always preferred 7 :]

So, why do you blog? What have you learned from putting your thought out there for the whole world to read? If you don’t blog, why not?

“We read to know that we are not alone.” C.S. Lewis

The Baby Leaves!

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My husband always calls the first leaves of spring “baby leaves” because he gets a kick out of how tiny and bright they are. I decided to write a ditty about these baby leaves in honor of the first day of spring :] I hope you enjoy the baby leaves as they start to poke out in your part of the country!

The birds are singing and the peepers are peeping,

The buds are bursting with baby leaves and blooms.

The flowers are poking their heads through the sod

Ready to unveil the canvas painted all winter long.

The sky is competing with nature’s awakening hues

deepening ever in cobalt blue.

The windows are open, the breeze blows in–

The bugs think it’s an invitation to come in.

The ants are busy, busy as bees

but none are busy as the baby leaves.

A new generation, a grand debut!

The leaves work quickly, they must work fast–

by summer heat their lives are half past.

They delight in the spring with life anew,

Shade in the summer in rich emerald hue.

By autumn’s entrance they are golden and proud

blushing in crimson, pleasing the crowd.

They fall to ground robing it in color,

Sleep all winter getting ready for summer.

We wait and we watch until spring comes again–

until the baby leaves trust the sun’s warm rays

and burst forth with new life for a few short days.